Genesis 30:1-2
Marriage is work. It is an unfinished work, a work in progress. A couple, a husband and wife, must constantly be vigilant to the many dangers that lurk from within themselves and without them that threaten to undermine the strength, the purity, happiness, and the future of their marriage. Just as a flea irritates a dog or cat, little things if left unattended and unaddressed by a husband or wife can enlarge and explode in the marriage with irreparable results. Often a husband or wife goes into a silent mode unwilling and not wanting to address the issues, pretending everything is well when it is not. Sometimes it is a major issue that neither spouse has power or ability to change, like a health issue. Although the health issue is legitimate, unfixable medically, the affected spouse and the unaffected slowly and silently began to drift and cool in their relationship and look at their affected spouse differently and harbor feelings of anger, resentment, perhaps jealousy, and envy of others. What fleas are to our pets, silent killers are to a marriage.
What are silent relationship killers? Some prefer to avoid conflicts. There is the silent killer of invalidating emotions, lack of trust, lack of communication, issues revolving around money, resentment, sexual repression, unresolved conflict, unresolved trauma, unspoken expectations.
In our study on Rachel, there are several of these found in her. The Holy Spirit focused on one of these silent killers, but it was the mother to others.
Jacob’s home life was a circus. It was unpredictable, complex, difficult to manage with two wives, and if anything could go wrong, it went wrong. So, the Holy Spirit placed this chapter at this point to bring attention to some of the difficult elements in Jacob’s family life to illustrate specific truths. The opening verse of chapter 30 sets the stage: “And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.” The first of these truths is one of domestic trouble and Rachel’s resentment. The Holy Spirit said, “Rachel envied her sister.” Rachel had Jacob’s love but not his children. Leah was able to bear children, but did not have Jacob’s love as Rachel did. Envy means “to be filled with jealousy,” a jealousy with the underlying thread of resentment that Leah could mother children and she could not.
If God had shared the family life of Leah and Rachel prior to meeting and marrying Jacob, we probably would have seen two sisters that vied with each other over personal issues just like brothers and sisters do today. Rachel and Leah were probably competitive and combative with each other behind the family tent doors. Rachel’s envy of her older sister did not just begin at this point in life but apparently had been building through the years. Envy comes from the Hebrew ‘qana’ which surprisingly carries the idea of “competitiveness.” The hopes and dreams of every young daughter was to bear children, to be productive, to be a mother. Rachel soon discovered that she was infertile and nothing she did aided her in becoming fertile. The days, weeks, and months that passed created a wall of bitterness, jealousy, resentment, and envy between them, especially when Leah announced that she was with child. Rachel might have hugged Leah’s neck and said congratulations, but silently she sulked, nursed her inability and envied to the point of resentment.
Imagine that tension built inside the tents of Jacob. Out of Rachel’s envy and inability to conceive grew a vicious spirit of rivalry between Rachel and Leah to see who could produce the most children by any means. The lesson here is the devious tactics and Rachel’s recklessness. Leah was not blameless. Jacob surely must have known something of the sibling rivalry and witnessed some of the behavior of the sisters, or heard conversations. Each of them could share responsibility in the internal crisis and future consequences. However, the Spirit of God teaches us what happens when thoughtlessness and recklessness seize control of our hearts.
What happens when we impatiently attempt to go ahead of God’s known will? What happens when we attempt to use human ingenuity and means to accomplish God’s work and will? When the humanly unattainable seems attainable by other means and devices, we can become irresponsible, careless, thoughtless to ourselves and others and to the Lord. Scriptural examples dot the pages of Holy Scripture. Recklessness is a serious threat to each of God’s children. Consider Eve who listened to the serpent rather than the Lord God. Or Cain who slew Able out of anger. Ask Sarah who impatiently gave Hagar to Abraham so she could obtain a son. Out of a jealous rage over a young teenager, King Saul ruined his family. King David spotted his legacy in the affair of Bathsheba.
Due in part to the culture and social attitudes of that period, barren women were deemed as anathema, cursed, or of lesser value. It is possible that Leah subscribed to this view about Rachel, which divided the sisters. Whatever, this was the fuel that drove Rachel to bow to worldly social and cultural influences, take matters into her own hands, rather than making it a matter of prayer as did the godly Hannah who found herself in the same condition as Rachel before the birth of Samuel (1 Sa. 1:1-22).
Lest you think that I am being overly harsh and critical of Rachel, I am not. The Holy Spirit placed these examples in His Word for us to see and learn. Also, Leah contributed in her part of this sibling rivalry. In the grace, mercy, and Divine providence, God would overcome, and His will would be accomplished through it all.
And, yet, however, within the family, in coming years, these unforeseen dangerous trends will again manifest themselves, and have serious family and national repercussions. After the boys were grown, Rachel has died, Jacob is an old man, jealousy and envy raised its vile head again in Jacob’s family. This time, however, it is the ten brother older sons and their attitude toward Joseph. Scripture says in Genesis 37:11, “And his brethren envied him.” Their envy led the brothers to sell Joseph into slavery into Egypt. Their jealousy of Jacob’s love and special treatment of Joseph led them to conceive a lie to their father of Joseph’s supposed death.
In King Solomon’s words “jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame” (Song of Solomon.8:6). The brother’s bitterness of Joseph, resentment of their father’s favoritism, and their cruelty would be overturned by the Lord God and turned to good for them and their descendants (Ge. 50:20).
Let us be on guard for this little fox of envy in our lives. It is the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15).
